Kate, fully equipped with her yellow wellies, hat, and fishing line has cast her pole into the river. She has been patient – which is not easy – but she has caught some fish! It still remains to be seen, if the fish she has “caught” need to be thrown back. Some fish, as handsome, funny, or interesting they may be are just not the right fish to take home for dinner. To date, my amazing friend, Kate, has dated baldy, shorty, and now GUY X.2. Kate having cast a wide net in the dating pool, has also taken interest in a friend-of-a-friend situation – although most of the conversations have been through text. She doesn’t even know what he looks like. However, it will be interesting if they keep on chatting and if and when they finally meet – sparks could fly?! Wouldn’t that be nice? Trying to attract as many fish as possible with her “bait”, Kate has also been exercising her flirting muscles not only in the virtual world of the online arena but in the real world too. There is a cute fish that Kate has slowly luring into her net! Hopefully, that fish will take the bait! Fisherwoman Kate (hopefully) will be able to come ashore soon.
So it’s hard to keep up with letting the world know about your dating life in between work and school. But it is time to catch up and give a little insight to date #2 with baldy. I figured he was worth giving another shot, until the date started. The more and more he started talking the more and more I realized I couldn’t get over his nasally voice. I know I’m not perfect, so I try and be open to giving these guys the benefit of the doubt, but that wouldn’t last with me. It sounded as if he may not be interested in women, if you get my drift.
So we order dinner and drinks and he proceeds to ask me if I am a beer drinker because I happened to order a beer that night. I replied that I do not stick with one type of drink and that I had a gin and tonic on our last night. At which he said, “oh that’s right, I may have judged you on that because you didn’t specify what type of gin you preferred.” I was counting the minutes to get out of there at that point. The bus boy got him back for that comment though as he bumped into the table and spilled my date’s drink all over him so it looked like he wet his pants. I did have a little pity for him, needless to say I did not go out on another date with him.
Now I’m moving on to shorty. Shorty is very nice and probably the most normal guy I met from online yet. I have to keep asking myself, do I just settle and not wear heels ever when around him? or do I keep searching for Mr. Right, because who doesn’t want to wear heels?
So Kate and baldy didn’t hit it off. She had to break it off. Here in lies another fundamental difference between many men and women – the fact that many women actually feel badly about rejecting a person. Typically, if a guy you went on a date with (even if it was the most amazing date ever) did not want to see you anymore he would either (1) not talk to you again; or (2) Ignore you. Kate, on the other hand, considered baldy’s feelings before – and she stressed (if only a little) on what exactly to say – before giving him the ax. At least Kate had the courtesy and respect for him to say “It’s not you, it’s me..” There can be no ambiguity for baldy. He is free to move on to someone else. No one likes rejection whether you are giving or receiving it – but it takes a real woman (and real man for that matter)– to politely let someone down. Thank you Kate for doing the right thing by showing respect to baldy so he can move on.
Kate may have not hit a home run at her first at bat, but I am really impressed that she put herself out there and gave both guys a fair chance. Dating is not easy. Dating in theory sounds like a reasonable concept. You attend an event of some sort and try to determine if you would like to attend another event with this person again in the future. I guess that is dating explained in the most simplest of terms. However, people are complex. People have thoughts, feelings, fears, and expectations. Plus, like all human interactions there are multiple interpretations of what actually was communicated on a date. I mean you could think one thing, he could think something completely different. The point is that Kate went on not only one date, but two. It is hard to meet a brand new person and be charming especially after a long day of work and any other drama that follows you. Kate accomplished step one now the trick is to persevere through those bad dates and hope to find a really good date that will lead to other dates and hopefully more!
Hi, it’s me Kate! Wow, three weeks, 2 days and 24 hours later…ok it may not be that exact, but we have definitely made some progress. With two scheduled dates and more prospects in the horizon, I am learning to let nature take its course. My first goal is to not go in there with too many expectations, thinking this HAS to be the guy I marry. Because if that is the case, then I think I will be disappointed with my future husband.
Date #1 (with baldy) took place. At first I was excited, conversation online and the phone went well, but all of a sudden after the date was scheduled, I see online that he posted pictures of himself without any hair. Now while I was one to get hung up on looks in the past, I have come along way and finally realize that looks aren’t everything. Or maybe they are, because clearly I’m still single. I was more frustrated that the guy reeled me in and then wanted me to see the real him, so that I wasn’t searching long and hard at the restaurant for a man with a lot of hair.
Let’s get to the date part. Well to start the night, I saw him walk over to an older woman sitting at the bar who was clearly with someone else. He embarrassingly asked if her name was Kate and when she said no, I had to walk up and introduce myself. Already the awkward moment when everyone knows that we’re on our first date. During dinner, he was easy to talk to and was generous enough to pick up the tab, which I am very traditional when it comes to a guy paying on the first date. Overall, I decided he was harmless and agreed to go out with him again.
In the meantime, I was communicating with another online prospect and finally got to the point of scheduling a date with him. However, I wasn’t looking forward to this date as much. So far I knew that he was 2 inches shorter than me ( a big no no), and he relied on text messaging, never picking up the phone to call. Well it came time for our Friday night date and when I showed up, he was waiting there with flowers in hand. How sweet! Regardless of height, he changed my attitude towards him. While talking during dinner, he there were no awkward moments and I liked him even more than date #1. However, I have yet to hear from him other than a text that he enjoyed his left over salad.
Stay tuned for more insight into my dating life and to find out which man, if any, will be the love of my life!
It’s happening! Kate is on a date. I hope that it goes well. Regardless, this is important step in getting the ball rolling. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The emailing between her and GUY X are done and they have exchanged numbers. I think they have a lot in common, but I guess we shall see if Kate and GUY X have actual chemistry.
Chemistry. It’s an interesting concept. I mean clearly through the computer they must have some interest in each other but will their emailing and brief get to know you questions result in good conversation when they actually meet? I guess, we shall see.
Amanda consistently keeps me on my toes to continue pursuing these online…and now real life…prospects. She texted me today to see if her “bugging” me was helpful. I replied yes, but just like it’s difficult to date because of my busy work schedule, it is also difficult to keep up with her assignments and constant notifications of who is responding to my questions. She continues to wonder when do we get to the dating stage?! First of all, I have to remind her that there is no WE, I am on my own when it comes to the physical dating scene. But with the prospects so far, I am hopeful that I will soon get to the next level of meeting in person.
Yes, there are some potential mates in my graduate class, but for some reason it is much more intimidating to strike up a conversation in between listening to the professor lecture for three hours. And not only do you have to initiate a convo, in order for this to be your future soul mate, you need to make him stick, permanently. For now, I am happy with the progress Amanda and I have made, so far we make a good team.